How do you work?
I’m an integrative counsellor, which means my training brought together different elements of counselling theories. This means that rather than having a fixed way of working, I can adapt my approach to meet your needs.
Key approaches that I use include:
- person-centred – which helps develop a trusting relationship through empathy, honesty and non-judgemental listening. It means I believe you’re the expert in yourself, not me, and that my role is to help you get back in touch with your authentic self
- psychodynamic – which looks at your past experiences and how they shape your life today. It can help discover unhelpful rules and patterns in your life
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – which explores the negative thoughts we have about ourselves and uses practical ways to help change them. It looks at how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours can affect each other.
I’m also influenced by:
- polyvagal theory – thinking about the three states of your autonomic nervous system: safe and social, fight/flight and shutdown. Understanding what shifts you into different states can help you connect with your body and recognise your triggers and responses
- Internal Family Systems, or IFS – which acknowledges we have different ‘parts’ or sub-personalities within us and a core ‘Self’ that is calm and compassionate. It aims to disentangle you from the parts that are behaving in unhelpful ways.
I’m also trained in working safely with trauma. Sometimes we don’t recognise our experiences as traumatic, and it can help to think of trauma as anything too much, too fast or too soon: an event or environment that overwhelms our ability to cope. I work slowly and carefully with trauma, helping you to understand its impact on your life, recognise your coping skills and develop newer, healthier ways of managing if needed. I work somatically – with the feelings that come up in your body – so you don’t have to retell your trauma at length in our sessions if you don’t want to.
How do we start?
We’ll usually start with a short phone call so I can find out why you’re considering counselling, let you know how I work, and answer any questions. This can help us both decide if we’d be a good match to work together. If phone calls aren’t accessible for you – because of a disability and/or anxiety, for instance – we could meet briefly on Zoom, or you could simply start with an initial session.
Your first session will be a chance to get a feel for how I work and consider whether it’s right for you. We will explore what brings you to counselling and what you’d like to achieve from sessions – which could be a specific goal or something less tangible. You may not be sure exactly why you want counselling but simply feel compelled to give it a go.
It’s really normal to be nervous before a first session. Coming into a stranger’s home / Zoom space when you’re unsure of what to expect is daunting! I’ll do my best to put you at ease and make you feel comfortable. We’ll go at your pace and you’re welcome to share as much or as little as feels right. You can ask me about how I work, or about counselling in general – there’s no question too big, too small or too obvious.
If you decide you’d like to work with me, we’ll find a regular time to meet each week and I’ll send you a copy of my working agreement to sign. This covers issues such as confidentiality, cancellations, and therapeutic boundaries.
Where will be meet?
Either in person from my home in West Norwood or on Zoom, or a combination of both depending on what is most convenient for you.
Note that my room is upstairs and I have a cat, so may not be suitable if you have mobility difficulties or cat allergies.
How long will we work together?
I work on an open-ended basis, meaning I’ll work with you for as long as you need and as long as counselling is helpful to you. I find I usually work with people for at least six months. I know money is tight for a lot of us, so I also offer the option of a block of 12 weekly sessions where we can work with a particular issue or goal.
How often will we meet?
I offer weekly therapy, which means we will meet at the same day and time each week aside from any planned breaks. I ask that we both make this commitment while we work together. Counselling works best when it’s a regular priority in your life.
I occasionally offer twice weekly sessions if we feel it would be supportive (usually only for a brief, predetermined length of time, perhaps while you’re going through something particularly difficult and know you’ll need extra support).
I rarely offer fortnightly sessions. We would only switch to this after starting with weekly sessions and both deciding that fortnightly would be best for you. Then it would be dependent on us finding a suitable time. Some of my autistic clients have recognised that the rhythm of fortnightly sessions works best for them.
How much does it cost?
I charge £60 for each session.
I don’t currently have any reduced rates available. I suggest trying Balham Community Counselling, Centre 70 (West Norwood) or One Vision Counselling (West Norwood).
Sara Vali 